memories: the past and the future
by nashpar
Summary: on her way to Camelot to tell Arthur of Morgana and Helios plans, Gwen is attacked by Morgana and loses her memory. Will she ever gain them back? Will she remember what she had with Arthur and most of all, will there be a happy ending? read and enjoy. Begins season 4 episode 9.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**I do not own Merlin…though Arthur is on my Christmas list.**

**Hello everyone. This will not really follow the events as they happened. Read and enjoy. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. **

Gwen felt the cold seeping to her bone as she sat in the dark forest with a small fire trying to keep warm. You would feel like you are freezing if you had just jumped into the riveer fully clothed. Until her clothes were dry, she would be sitting there chuttering. She could only hope she would make it through the night so she could go to Camelot.

Camelot. Her home for her whole life, a place which held those she had once thought of as her friends, a place she had been banished on penalty of death by the love of her life, a place she had vowed never to return.

Her heart twisted as her hands trailed her necklace and fingered the ring that dangled from it. It the ring her Arthur had given her. she remembered the night he had proposed like yesterday. It had been the best day of her life. The day that she knew her dreams will finally come true. That Arthur loved her, a mere maid and wanted her to be his queen.

She should have known it was too good to be true. One visit from an old friend had destroyed everything.

She cursed the day she let Lancelot in her house but how could she have not? She felt nothing for him anymore. He was just a mere friend to her. she remembered how he had congratulated her and given her a token. It was a beautiful bracelet with beautiful intricate designs. She should have questioned why but she was just happy he was alive. That she hadn't sent him to his death.

Soon after wearing it, she found herself kissing him. It felt like someone was pulling her to him. She was unable to resist. She had felt like she was in a haze. A dreamy haze that only ended when she took off the bracelet. A dream that ended when she faced Arthur's accusing blue eyes in front of the council.

Her mind drifted back to the worst moment of her life.

"_What happened Guinevere?" Arthur asked the sadness fury in his blue eyes. Her heart broke at that. she had caused him to feel that way but she didn't know why she had done what she had. In her heart and mind she loved Arthur. she was in love with him._

"_We were happy. I know we were." Said Arthur and Gwen nodded. we were happy Arthur. you made me the happiest I have ever been. You gave me hope that the impossible could happen. Me a mere maid could be loved by the prince._

"_You love him? You have always loved him?" _

'_No Arthur. I love you and only you!' her mind screamed her to say yet she only managed a weak, "No."_

"_All those times you said you wanted to be with me?" _

"_I meant every word!" she had said and she was hurt he didn't seem to believe her. When had she ever given him reason to doubt her? Hadn't she made her intentions clear to him? Did he always have doubts in her about how she felt?_

"_You mean everything to me Arthur. Once there was Lancelot, a long time ago. But I haven't considered him in that way for many years. I thought I would never see him agai and then when I did, I was overwhelmed. I was drawn to him. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know why." She looked at Arthur in the eyes. "I love you Arthur. You are my everything."_

_She had thought she had got to him. She had made him see how much she loved him yet he still said the words, words that still pained her to the very core._

"_You will leave Camelot at first light. You return upon pain of death." _

Her heart had broken then. Crushed beyond repair. When she packed her small belongings, when she pushed her cart all alone with the laughing eyes of the people of Camelot who knew her to be the one who betrayed the king, she had been like a zombie. She was a walking shell. Nothing else mattered now. Arthur didn't want her and he had sent her away knowing she had nowhere to go.

Everything had clicked to her just a few days after leaving Camelot. It had been the bracelet. She had felt for Lancelot the moment he had place that bracelet on her and all her feelings for him and the haziness had left when she took it off.

She had been drugged or enchanted. She knew that had to be it though she couldn't prove it. She was so sure Morgana was involved.

Now here she was, thinking of Arthur, running from Morgana and Helios and returning to Camelot to the man who would have her killed at first sight just to try and save him.

In all honesty, she had no idea how she was going to see him let alone get him to listen to her. One thing she knew was she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He had disappointed her and as soon as she told him what she knew, she would leave never to return.

She didn't know when she fell asleep only waking to herself facing Morgana who was on a horse dressed in a black dress.

"Nice to see you again. Oh you've forgotten, I have hunted in these woods since I was a child. Did you think you could run from me?"

Gwen felt anger as she looked at Morgana. How could she do this to her? How! They had been friends hadn't they? She had taken care of her, gone beyond the duties of a servant and yet this was how she was being repayed? Maybe it was her luck. She had been loyal to Arthur and he had cast her aside with not a thought, she had been the best brother she could have been to Elyan and yet he had just looked at her with disgust and had chosen his job as a knight of Camelot over her. She wouldn't even start on Merlin.

"I know it was you. I know you enchanted me to kiss Lancelot. You have done enough. You have your Camelot. Leave me alone!" said Gwen in fury only to feel rage when Morgana laughed.

"Of course you figured that out. You were always wise beyond your station. However your Arthur didn't believe you and he sent you away. How does it feel to know he had no faith in you? That he right now is getting ready to get married to another woman of better standing than you?"

Gwen must have shown her surprise. Arthur was getting married? "Yes to a princess too."

"Well you got what you wanted. leave me alone."

"I don't think so. See, i don't want you to go so you can tell him my secrets. Yes. I know you may hate him but you also love him enough to try and save him. Pathetic and weak if I should say."

Gwen glared at Morgana her eyes reflecting all the hate she felt then she turned and started running. she didn't get far before a blast lifted her in the air and she hit a tree with a sickening crunch and fell to the ground with a thud.

xxx

Arthur couldn't believe he was hunting with another woman. Princess Mithian…a beautiful dark haired woman with skin as white as snow and grace and beauty befitting a queen. She was everything a king would want but yet he felt nothing for her.

She paled in comparison to his Guinevere. Guinevere… it still hurt so much to think about her. she had betrayed him in the worst kind of way. She kissing Lancelot had broke his heart beyond repair. HShe had broken his trust and he didn't think he would ever trust again.

He tried to forget her. Tried to justify why she had sent him away when he knew her home was here in Camelot. Every night he wondered where she was, if she was safe, if she was thinking of him like he was.

He had been disappointed when Lancelot killed himself. He had wanted to be the one to do it. He knew he was fooling himself if he thought he could marry princess Mithian. Guinevere had his heart and he knew the ache he felt would only heal when he saw her…that was unlikely.

As they hunted, he saw a doe young brown and beautiful. It looked petrified and scared but as a hunter he was compelled to take the shot. He aimed and shot but missed. He was surprised. He never missed. Ever. It was like his arrow had been directed by a force away from the doe. Spooked the doe ran for the bushed then another arrow whizzed and struck it. An arrow from Mithian;

Arthur tried to look for the doe but he couldn't find it. As he did, he saw something shiny on the ground. It was a chain and on it was a ring, the ring he had given Guinevere for their engagement. His heart stalled. It was like no one else was there. He looked around frantically hoping to see her, to catch a glimpse of her but all he could see were trees and bushes.

"Arthur?" said Merlin.

"My Lord?" came Mithian's voice.

"The hunt is over." He said going to his horse. As he looked at that ring, he knew he could not do this to himself and to Mithian. He was going to end this with Mithian. He knew he loved Guinevere and the only woman he was going to marry was her.

**xxx**

Merlin rushed into the forest and he looked around the he saw her, lying there unconscious and hurt. Her days in exile had been had on her. she looked frail with dark rings on her eyes and her clothes were dirty. Merlin felt pity for her.

He felt guilty for not being there for her. Gwen had come with him to Ealdor when he needed them and she had fought alongside him. She had been a very good friend yet he had watched as she pulled her belongings and left. He could see the haunted hallow look she wore as she left like she had nothing to live for, like her soul was gone and only the body was there. he had seen the same look on Arthur.

He held out his hand and said a spell and watched as her leg healed. It would leave a scar he knew. He sat there and waited till she opened her brown eyes and looked at him before she flinched, scrambled from him her eyes wide with fear and she said, "Who are you?"

**There it is. Gwen lost her memories. What is Merlin going to do? **

**A question for you. do you want Merlin to take her to Camelot or to Ealdor? Review or PM with your suggestion.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**hello everyone! thank you so much for your response to the story. that made my day. i hope you enjoy.**

Gwen stared at the unfamiliar tall slim man with black hair, pale skin and blue eyes who was looking at her as if he knew her. "Who are you?" she asked again

"What?" Merlin said in surprise.

"I believe I asked a simple question. Who are you and what do you want?" snapped Gwen looking at the man. She scooted a bit further away from him and looked around. She was in the forest but she couldn't fathom how she had got here and why she was there in the first place. What happened to her? Did this man bring her here? At that she narrowed her eyes at the man.

"What do you mean who am I Gwen? It's me Merlin." said Merlin looking at the girl who was his closes friend, stunned and unable to believe Gwen couldn't remember him? Yes he had not been a good friend to her in the end but did that mean she would forget him so soon or even pretend not to know him?

"Gwen? That is my name?" asked Gwen puzzled. Why couldn't she remember anything? Nothing came to mind as she thought of her past. Where was she from? Did she have a family? Who were they? Maybe this man who seemed to know her would have answers.

Merlin looked into Gwen's brown eyes and saw Gwen was not playing with his mind. There was fear, puzzlement, disorientation and clear shock. She truly didn't know. Whatever had happened to her had made her lose her memory. Maybe being changed into a deer had made her so? "Yes it is. Your full name is Guinevere actually."

"How come I don't remember that or anything else?" asked Gwen puzzled and worried.

Merlin felt saddened at the vulnerable look in Gwen's brown eyes. This shouldn't have happened to her. "You were attacked and I believe you lost your memory."

"So you are Merlin and you know me?"

"Yes. We were…are friends actually." He said hesitating for a moment. That didn't go unnoticed by Gwen though she chose not to comment on it.

"Oh. So how did I get to be here? Where do I live? Do I have a family?" asked Gwen making herself comfortable. Somehow she felt like she could trust this man. He seemed really nice

Merlin was at a loss of words at Gwen's question. What was he to say to her? the truth that she had been banished from her home in Camelot and that she had been wondering all alone in the world? That they hadn't know where she had been and this was the first time he was seeing her in a few months? "Um, you lived in Camelot but you recently moved away."

"Moved away? Why?"

"Something bad happened and you had to leave. We didn't know where you were until now."

"Oh. So I have a family in Camelot?"

"Only a brother. Your parents passed."

Gwen nodded. Well at least she wasn't all alone in this world. She had a brother. "So what are you doing here?"

"I was on a hunt and I saw you. you were hurt so I came to help."

"Thank you." said Gwen grateful. Her leg still hurt but it felt way better now.

Merlin looked around. He knew the forest was not safe for Gwen. For her to be in this forest meant one thing. She had been coming to Camelot and Merlin knew she had to have been coming to tell them something important. He wondered if he could try to make her memory return.

"Gwen, I know after what happened, you wouldn't return here without a cause. Would you like to try and remember what it is you were coming here for?"

"Are you going to tell me what it is that made me leave Camelot and my brother?"

"Some other time."

Gwen huffed and tried to think. she pushed and tried but all she got was a blinding headache and a black spot. Nothing. She couldn't remember anything. "I am sorry Merlin. I remember nothing. I don't even have an idea who I am except my name which you told me."

Merlin sighed. He knew he was taking a risk with this but he had to try. "Maybe I can help."

"Help?"

"Yes. Help you remember your memories."

"How?" asked Gwen perplexed.

"You could have been enchanted."

"Enchanted? What do you mean? Is that even possible"

"With magic it is."

"Magic? is it even real?"

Merlin smiled at the wide eyed curious Gwen. He had really missed her. Off course she wouldn't remember anything about how magic had caused havoc in Camelot, what she had witnessed magic do. He wondered if the former Gwen would have reacted this way. After all, she had lost her father to magic and she had been nearly killed twice after being accused of having magic. "Yes. Look." He made a fire in his palm.

Gwen was stunned as she watched the view. Her mind was telling her this couldn't be real yet she had seen it, fire materializing from the air. "I cannot believe this!"

"Well it is real and there are many like this."

Gwen was stunned then she looked hopefully at Merlin. "So you think someone enchanted me with magic causing me to lose my memories?"

Merlin nodded.

"You can help me get my memories back?"

"I can try. Close your eyes."

Gwen looked skeptical but she did. Suddenly she was filled with calmness and she soon drifted off.

Merlin held his hand at the forehead of the now sleeping Gwen and said a spell. He suddenly found himself in Gwen's mind. There was nothing in there except him and what he had told Gwen. There was no sign of her memories anyway. He continued to venture in cautiously knowing he wouldn't want to cause Gwen any harm and then he encountered a block. It was impenetrable and there was nothing he could do. He gently eased out of their mind and then he said another spell waking her.

"You made me sleep!" shrieked Gwen glaring at him and he fought back a grin.

"I had to."

"Well? What did you find out?"

"I didn't detect any magic there Gwen." It was true. there was no enchantment or spell. it was almost like Gwen had blocked those memories herself for some reason unknown to either of them.

"What? So how come I cant remember anything?"

"I don't know Gwen but I will do what I can to help you but right now, I have to get you out of here. You are not safe here."

"Where will I go? You said I left Camelot. I don't know anything or anyone."

"You don't but I do. I know someone who can take good care of you and keep you safe."

"Who?"

"My mother." said Merlin. He knew his mother had liked Gwen when she had come to help them fight and he knew she would look after Gwen. He couldn't take her to Camelot. He knew Gwen would probably be safer inside the walls of Camelot but where would he keep her away from Arthur? She would know why she left Camelot when she heard people talking and he was sure it would devastate her not to mention how Arthur would react to her in Camelot.

With Aggravaine in Camelot influencing Arthur's decisions like he was (it hurt him a lot when Arthur would take Aggravaine's word with not so much as a thought) he was sure Aggravaine would convince Arthur to execute her. No. She was safer in Ealdor with his mother. She would rest there and maybe gain her memories back while he tried to convince Arthur that Aggravaine was a traitor.

After a little convincing, Merlin led her across the forest down the familiar path to his hometown. On the way he told Gwen all about herself, how she was a very good seamstress, how she had worked as a maid, how she was brave and the most kind hearted person he had known. Of course that had got Gwen confused as to if she was that nice, why was she not in Camelot. Merlin didn't tell her yet. A day later, they arrived in Ealdor.

**There it is. On popular vote, Merlin is taking her to Ealdor. I hope you enjoyed. Review and tell me what you think. Suggestions are very much welcome.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

**Hello everyone. Thank you for the reviews. They have been most helpful! **

**We are back in Camelot for this chapter. Hope you enjoy.**

"Princess." said Arthur looking at the beautiful raven head who walked past him with not a glance down to the courtyard where her escorts were waiting for her.

He knew he had done her a disservice, dismissing her like that but he couldn't do it. he knew if his father had been alive, his head would be on the pire given how much he had hated him with Gwen but now, he was the king and he had the right to what he wanted and he wanted Gwen. Not a princess but his Guinevere.

Last night had been a truly emotional night for him and for those who know the king, they would see the bags under his eyes and the redness to them too. He had debated to himself, looking at the ring if he was doing the right thing.

How could he still be choosing Guinevere, the woman who had betrayed him so? He could still see her face when he had questioned her. the anguish and pain in there was genuine but that didn't change anything. She had still kissed Lancelot. The thought of Lancelot made his blood boil.

What still worried him was how Lancelot had died. He had poisoned himself. The guards hadn't given it to him and if it wasn't them who was it? no one else beside his uncle had been ot see him but his uncle wouldn't have. Beside where would Aggravaine have got the poison from? From what Gaius had said, it was a potent very rare. Maybe Lancelot had brought it himself?

"Mithian, I am sorry."

Princess Mithian turned to face him. Her eyes were red rimmed and she looked sad. He had broke her heart. there was nothing like being told there was someone else when you were just starting to see a future with someone. "there is nothing to apologize for my Lord."

"I hurt you."

"It is unavoidable when you love another. I only hope I will be able to see her as your queen one day." said Mithian. As a way of explaining to her, he had told her about him and Gwen and their history.

"I hope for that as well."

Arthur handed Mithian the scrolls with an agreement he had drawn up. Loss of lands his father had so worked to protect was a fair trade for his happiness. He looked up and saw Merlin walking up the courtyard and he wondered where he had been for the better part of yesterday.

**xxx**

Merlin walked quickly past the lower town to the Citadel. Yesterday had been a success. He had managed to get Gwen to his home and his mother had accepted to look after her. He knew nothing would happen to her there. Beside, if Morgana thought she was dead, then she would not waste her energy and resources looking for Gwen.

Now he was worrying how he would explain his absence to Arthur. He was not going to tell him about Gwen. Not when he was still with Mithian. Beside, nothing had changed. Gwen still betrayed him and even though he knew Arthur still loved Gwen, Arthur would not take her back.

As he got to the courtyard, Merlin was stunned to see Princess Mithian and her entourage preparing horses. Was she leaving? Did Arthur come to his senses at last that there was no one for him except Gwen? Did that ring make him see sense? If so, there might be hope for him yet. with Mithian out of the way, all that was left was disposing Aggravaine and that was better said than done.

He watched as Arthur bid Mithian farewell. "Aah I see you made the right decision my Lord."

"I don't want to talk about it Merlin!" said Arthur sternly.

"Well suit yourself." said Merlin with a grin and Arthur huffed.

"Where were you yesterday?" said Arthur switching the topic.

"Getting some rare herbs for Gaius." Arthur narrowed his eyes at him but didn't say anything else except give him unusually long chores for the day.

**xxx**

"Now tell me the truth. Where were you? You had me worried! Don't you know these are dangerous times? I thought you had done something foolish like get caught by Morgana!" said Gaius with his raised eyebrow of doom which Merlin had thought he was now immune to till now.

Merlin sighed and said, "I was taking Gwen to my mother." he said nonchalantly and he watched as it sipped in Gaius' brain.

"What? Merlin what are you playing at?" asked Gaius staring at her. none of them had heard from Gwen since she had been banished. They often wondered where she was and Elyan had even tried looking for her but there had been no luck which was why it was such a surprise to Gaius that Merlin would say he had been with Gwen.

"Nothing Gaius. I found her in the woods when we went hunting. She was a deer. Morgana enchanted her." he explained. He remembered when he had arrived home with Gwen.

_Merlin walked down the small street of their town greeting the familiar faces as he passed. People looked curiously at Gwen. Apparently they hadn't really seen her properly when Gwen had come to help them fight. He could see looks of intrigue and curiosity. They obviously though she was his wife or girlfriend. Merlin fought a blush. Arthur would kill him for such a thought._

_He looked at Gwen who was watching with guarded curiosity. "Is this Ealdor?"_

"_Yes there is my house. come on." said Merlin. _

_Merlin approached their cottage. Outside was his mother leaning over a drum of water, her brown hair pulled back in a messy bun dressed in her favorite brown dress. She turned as if she sensed she was being watched and her eyes widened when she saw them. "Merlin, Gwen!" she said coming over to them._

"_Mother. May we come in?" he said after embracing her. _

"_Of course." _

_Merlin could see his mother was full of questions but he refrained from saying anything till they were inside. Once inside, his mother offered them some food and drink. They accepted graciously. She looked even more perplexed when he introduced Gwen._

"_Mother, Gwen was attacked and she lost her memories. Can you look after her till I come back?" Hunith was stunned as she looked at the young girl before her, the brave girl who had stood by his son fighting Kanen. She couldn't believe something so drastic had happened to the girl._

"_Of course dear. Gwen you are welcome. Would you like a place to rest or water to bath?" _

"_Bathing would be fine thank you."_

_Hunith stood and took Gwen. "Gwen I am not staying long. Stay well. I promise to return."_

"_Thank you so much Merlin for your kindness." said Gwen hugging Merlin and then she smiled and left. Merlin waited for a while then his mother returned. He bid her farewell and left._

"Oh my goodness! What was she doing in the forests of Camelot? She could have been found!"

"I don't think she was staying there Gaius. She had come to tell us something."

"You talk as though she didn't tell you. what happened?"

"She has lost her memory Gaius. She had no idea who I as was or who she is."

"Oh no. the poor girl." said Gaius sadly. He had always liked Gwen and thought she and Arthur were a good match.

"I had to take her to Ealdor."

"Why not bring her here? I could have tried to find a cure."

"Gaius, Gwen was not enchanted to forget her memories. She blocked them herself. I tried to heal her. Bringing her here would not have been wise. She would be put under pressure to remember by her friends and Elyan. Beside, Camelot is not safe for her at the moment."

"Aggravaine."

"I have a feeling he is up to something Gaius and I am going to prove it."

"You need to be careful Merlin. Arthur may like you but he trusts his blood more."

"Don't I know?" said Merlin and he left the room to go about his chores for the day. He was happy that at least, he had done what he could for Gwen and he was sure she would be happy with his mother until such a time when Camelot was safe and she was safe.

**There it is. So Mithian is gone. Left Aggravaine. Don't worry I have something for both Aggravaine and Morgana. Keep reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Hello! Am so sorry for the short chapter. Hope this is longer.**

**Read and enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you think.**

"Merlin?"

"Shh." said Merlin motioning for Arthur to stay put. They were currently watching Aggravaine who was standing in the dark woods watching around looking for something.

Merlin couldn't believe he had managed to drag Arthur from his bed…well from the table he slept since he didn't want to lay in his bed yet… Arthur had protested of course.

"_Come on Arthur."_

"_Merlin what are you doing? Do you want to end in the stocks? In case you didn't notice, I was asleep which you should be!" _

"_You know I wouldn't wake you up if it wasn't a matter of life and death, now come on."_

"_At least let me get dressed."_

_Merlin threw a cloak for Arthur. "There come on."_

"_This had better be good or you are in the stocks for a month!" _

_Merlin merely rolled his eyes. If he had a gold coin for the times Arthur had said that to him… the 2 left the castle and went down to the forest. "What the…" _

"_Shh…look." said Merlin pointing at a figure ahead of them. "Is that…" _

"_Aggravaine yes."_

"_Why are we following him? Honestly Merlin you are not still on about how he is not to be trusted are you? I cant believe you woke me up for this!"_

"_Shut up and lets go."_

_Arthur gaped at being reprimanded but he could see Merlin was serious. This had to be big so he decided to follow._

Now here they were watching as Aggravaine waited impatiently. Merlin had to practically close Arthur's mouth to prevent him from gasping out loud when Morgana came into view dressed all black with a smirk on her face. Merlin looked sadly at the woman he had once considered his friend and even had a crush on. now she was a far ry from the innocent, feisty and caring lady she once was, who had dressed down and helped him in Ealdor. Maybe if he had helped her when she discovered her magic? If he had not taken her to the druids? If he had not poisoned her? However that was all it was now…ifs and regrets.

**xxx**

Arthur couldn't believe what he was seeing. Aggravaine and Morgana… Suddenly everything began to make sense. All the advice his uncle had given him had resulted in angry people. Now he could see what Merlin and Gaius had been trying to tell him. Why hadn't he seen it before? He knew the answer to that question. He had been blinded. He had so wanted to believe his own relation would want him to succeed. his own relation would want what's best for him. After all, Aggravaine was his mother's brother. Pain filled him. How could this happen? First Gwen and now Aggravaine, both whom he had held on a high pedestal. What was next? Was Merlin hiding something from him too?

"Aggravaine." said Morgana coming to a stand in front of his uncle. Morgana. He couldn't believe she was the girl he had grown up with, teased, and well played with. Now, she was hardly recognizable with those dark clothes.

"My lady." said Aggravaine bowing. Arthur was so full of rage. How dare he betray him like this and bow to this woman! He made to take his sword to run him through but Arthur held him and shook his head.

"Report." said Morgana in a cool tone.

"Arthur sent the princess back. The engagement is off and he gave her the lands they were disputing over." Said

"What? Why?"

"It seems he found the serving wench's ring. He is under the illusion that she is alive." said Aggravaine with a laugh. Arthur felt rage fill him. How dare he call her a wench! That was the woman he loved! Merlin once again had to calm him enough to listen more.

At that Morgana let out a frosty icy laugh. "The fool. Always rules with his heart. What he doesn't know is his precious Gwen is gone, dead, killed by his princess' arrow." At that Arthur felt his heart stop. No! That couldn't be. Gwen couldn't be dead. She just couldn't! And Mithian would never kill anyone!

"You did?"

"she heard my plans and was on her way to tell her precious Arthur when I caught her. Pathetic really. what she sees in Arthur I will never know. He is just like his father. He cast her aside with not a thought. An enchanted bracelet and an ex boyfriend I knew Arthur would react. I wanted her killed but of course he loved her too much…" she said mockingly and Arthur felt a shiver of cold fill his heart which was already in despair.

Enchantment. Gwen had been enchanted. She hadn't know what she had done. That is why she said she couldn't control herself. He had thought she had been overwhelmed by her feelings for Lancelot and she couldn't control herself! How could he have been so stupid How could he not have seen this? He knew some would not approve of his relationship with her but he hadn't thought it would be too drastic. Beside, what were the odds that Lancelot would just appear out of the blue on the day before the wedding.

Morgana laughed. "Love is too overrated." Anger boiled in him. That woman had killed his Guinevere! His true love… No. He couldn't let her get away. Now Merlin had to physically restrain him from gutting Morgana and Aggravaine there and then. "No! Stay put!" said Merlin in a hushed whisper. "She killed my Guinevere."

"You will get your revenge. We have to hear their plans now shush!" said Merlin and Arthur shut his mouth his jaw tight in anger.

"Indeed."

"I need you for our plans in 2 weeks time."

"Plans my lady?"

"Yes. Now Arthur is vulnerable. He is broken. He is where I wanted him to be. I want you to get the underground plans from the vaults and give them to me."

"Yes my lady." said Aggravaine and at that, they dismissed and went opposite directions.

Xxx

"Why the hell did you let them go? She killed my Gwen! She killed my love and I swear I am going to gut her! Let me go! She can't have gone far!"

"You will Arthur but you have to relax."

"Relax? Relax? Did you hear what she said? She enchanted Guinevere and like I fool I fell into it. I didn't trust her and I cast her aside! I let her leave Camelot, her home because of my own selfishness and she got killed Merlin! How can you ask me to relax!" said Arthur and Merlin could feel all the emotions in Arthur's voice.

"She is not dead Arthur!" said Merlin knowing if he didn't tell Arthur, the hard headed clottpole would go and get himself killed.

"What? You heard her…"

"She thinks Gwen is dead. She is not. I saw her."

"What? When?"

"The day after your hunt with Mithian. I saw her from afar. She was alive but limping."

"Are you sure it was her Merlin?" asked Arthur not daring to hope that she was indeed alive.

"Positive. I don't know where she went but it was her. Listen Arthur, Morgana is too powerful. if you ho after her, she will kill you. We know what their plans are. We know what to do know. We can work with this and ambush them when they strike."

Arthur nodded. it was indeed a good idea. He would let Aggravaine get the maps only he would take the old ones and not the upgraded ones. He would set up knights at the entrance and umbush them. they might win then. "Merlin I am sorry I didn't believe you."

"An apology from you? I may have to write this down."

"Don't push it Merlin."

**xxx**

Everyone could see there was something wrong with Arthur. Only Merlin knew what was ailing the king. The betrayal of Aggravaine and what he had done to Guinevere was weighing heavily on him. He had sent her away. He could have given her the benefit of the doubt, he could have forgave her yet he had taken the worst punishment he could. He could still see her face during the trial. He could still hear all she had said to him. He could still see the love and pain and anguish and confusion in the brown eyes and the heartbroken look she had given him when he had passed the sentence.

How was he ever going to make it right? She was alive Merlin had said he was certain but he had no idea where she was. She had survived Morgana but what of bandits? Where was she staying? Was she safe? He wished he knew where she was so he could grovel and ask her forgiveness.

They had set the old maps and Aggravaine had taken them. He still couldn't believe Aggravaine could betray him and Camelot like this and had a hard time pretending everything was fine. Now it was a matter of waiting for the day the attack would come. When all this was over, he was going to scour all the earth looking for his love and he was going to bring her back as his queen.

He missed her so much. Her smile, her laugh, the way she always knew what to say to him to give him strength. He would kill Morgana and Aggravaine and he will get her back.

Xxx

Gwen loved her stay in Ealdor with Merlin's mother. Hunith was a sweet gentle woman who was well liked in the town and the people were all close knit and nice.

Gwen helped with cooking, getting water and food and well with anything that was needed. She also sawed.

One woman had seen her mending her dress one day and since then, whoever needed something adjusted they brought it to her. she did it for free at times or with exchange for food.

As she sat under a tree mending a trouser, her thoughts went to her past. She knew nothing and in the 2 weeks she had been here, she had hoped she would wake up remembering but nothing. Merlin had told her to take it easy, that it will come back to her but she wondered when? When would she , in place of the black void, would she see her life?

Merlin. He was such a really nice man and kind of cute too. She didn't know why she had felt she could trust him enough for him to bring her here but she was not disappointed. She could truly see herself living here. She wondered briefly if Merlin had someone. Hunith hadn't indicated so. She blushed at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Hunith coming to join her with some grains she was going to clean and remove some dirt.

"Nothing much. Just my past. I wish I could remember."

"Give yourself some time. you will remember."

"What if I don't?"

"Then you will make new memories. You have been through a lot from what I can tell. Maybe you not remembering is a blessing."

Gwen nodded. Sometimes she woke up at night filled with dread and at times she felt an emptiness that she didn't know came from. She was sure it had to do with her past. If her past made her feel that way, maybe it was better she didn't remember. Right now, where she was, she was happy and she wanted to remain that. she could get to know her former friends and her brother with time.

**Thank you for reading. Arthur knows the truth. Is Gwen developing a crush on her savior Merlin? Remember when she kissed him when he woke up from being poisoned? That was priceless!**

**Next chapter, Morgana attacks Camelot and Arthur discovers yet another secret this time from his trusted servant.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

"Ok, does everyone know what to do?" asked Arthur looking at his trusted knights. they all nodded. For the past 2 weeks, Arthur had been going through his plans with the knights on how best to protect the city and the people. He had recruited some of the men and boys of Camelot and after telling them of the threat, the citizens were all willing to help. He had assigned them their tasks too. the main objective, thin out as much of Morgana's army as possible before they noticed what was going on.

The women and children were all taken down the safe hiding places underneath the castle itself. Now the day had arrived.

Today was the day Morgana was going to attack. He knew because he had told his uncle he was holding a feast for all knights and to Aggravaine and Morgana it would be the perfect opening.

Arthur loved it like that since he Arthur Pendragon was going to end Morgana once and for all. She had caused too much pain for him to feel anything for her except hate and anger. If it hadn't been for her, his Guinevere would be here. If it hadn't been for her, he would be married to her. if it hadn't been for her, a lot of people wouldn't have lost their families. She had to be stopped.

"Very well. Everyone to your positions." He said. They all scattered and Arthur walked back to the castle while Leon went to talk to see if everyone was in place.  
"Arthur…"  
"Merlin."  
"You can do this Arthur."  
"I know I can." said Arthur but without his usual cockiness. This was said with conviction. There was silence.  
"Merlin I will need you to…"  
"Don't tell me to leave your side Arthur because I wont." Arthur sighed. "You are a good friend Merlin." "I am your friend?"  
"Don't repeat this to anyone!" said Arthur threateningly and Merlin grinned.

Xxx

Aggravaine walked unaware he was being watched and he smiled when he realized there were no guards at the entrance of the tunnels. Never once did he think it was a trap. He opened the gate and looked around then grinned when he saw Morgana's troops and saw the lady looking from atop a hill with Helios by her side. He knew what he had to do.

He signaled some of the troops for them to enter quietly through the tunnels while the other troops would focus on the attack outside. Everything was going to plan. Arthur would not know what hit him.

He was caught by surprise when he felt a sudden burning pain in his back. He looked down and saw an arrow protruding on his chest. With a surprised look he fell with a thud, his eyes open, glazed as life left him.

There was a stunned look at the troops who watched as Aggravaine fell. Then there was chaos as arrows seemed to come from nowhere. Those who had the chance to look around managed to see men surrounding the citadel and atop the house of the lower town, arrows in hand and shooting before they fell down dead.

Xxx

Morgana was watching as her troops marched in the dark night into Camelot with not a knight in sight. Today was the perfect day to attack. Arthur was holding a feast for his knights and Camelot will be vulnerable then. She watched as they entered the tunnels and as the other troops invaded the lower town then she watched as the men began to fall one by one to the ground. "What is going on? What is happening?"  
"Something is wrong my lady."  
"No! How could this be? How could they know? The serving girl is dead!"  
"I don't know. Could Aggravaine have betrayed us?"  
"He is dead!" said Morgana magic cackling around her. she was mad and Helios knew better than to question the witch when she was mad. He had seen a lot to know what was good for him.  
"What are you all waiting for! Go down there and kill them all!" she screamed to the men behind her who all charged for Camelot. Morgana rode with them. She was going to get that crown today and no one was going to stop her!

Xxx

Inside the tunnels, a battle began raging. With the traps set by the knights, the southerons were hit by surprise and before long, they were all dead, some torched to death, others pierced by the swords of the knights. Of course they tried to fight back and some knights were lost but not as many as they would have been.  
Arthur knew it was time and he took his sword and left. He was going to confront Morgana himself. He was going to kill her.

Outside, the battle was raging a storm. Fire was everywhere as Morgana's army and the knights fought. Swords were flying everywhere. People were falling dead or wounded but no one backed off. Arthur felt so proud. the men of Camelot were standing alongside the knights to defend their homes.

As Arthur fought, he saw Merlin ducking and running. "Merlin! Get back inside!" he shouted but it fell on deaf ears. When was that dollophead ever going to listen to him? No matter. He needed to concentrate to get to Her. Morgana.

As he fought his way, he saw her going into the castle. There was no way he was letting her go. He teared after her dodging the swords.  
He found her in the throne room. "How predictable and pathetic." He said and Morgana turned and looked at him smirking.  
"I see you were expecting us."  
"Ah yes. I knew about your little spy. Who do you think told him about the feast? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. Like I said, predictable."  
Morgana wore a look of rage. "This is my rightful place as queen! I deserve this seat."  
"No you don't Morgana. Who would want a queen like you, rabid with no sense of right and wrong? You are just a selfish witch."  
"How dare you! you are arrogant, just like your father! No Pendragon will sit on this throne as long as I live."  
"And I believe you include yourself as well? You are a Pendragon aren't you?" said Arthur and he knew he had her with the look on her face. he had no idea a person could sneer that much.

"Enough talk. I am here to claim what is mine and I shall have it. I killed Uther and now you will follow him."  
"You killed my father? But I thought…"  
"That the old wizard had? Oh no. I knew of your plans to use magic, the same magic you persecute people like me for. I placed an enchanted necklace on Uther that reversed the healing spell. Too easy. He didn't deserve to live!"  
"That was not for you to decide!" said Arthur charging at her. The 2 began to fight. Morgana was still very good, even better but Arthur had one thing. Determination and the will to live… he would not live Camelot to the rule of Morgana. Never!  
"I see your little servant girl isn't here. Did you find her in the forest? My little idea see, turned her into a deer and you shot her. killed by your own hand!" said Morgana trying to put Arthur out of balance.

What she didn't know she was giving Arthur more reason to fight. If he lived, he would look for Gwen and he would tell her how much he loved her and wanted her back.

"Hmm, you are pathetic. You knew you could never beat me unless you took the one person I loved. She may be gone but that gives me more reason to kill you!" he snarled.  
As he turned to stab Morgana, she tripped him and he was stabbed on the leg. "Give up while you can Pendragon! I am the high priestess of the old religion. No mortal blade can kill me!"

Arthur was stunned. Of course that is why all their attempts to kill her had failed. She couldn't be killed. Well there was no going back. He would not go down without a fight. Beside, a mortal blade could behead her couldn't it? "Never!" he said and with a twist, he disarmed Morgana and before she could use her magic, Arthur stabbed her in her stomach.

Morgana grinned before she screamed. "No! What is this? No. Emrys is my doom not you! What did you do!" screamed the woman in pain.  
Arthur didn't know what had happened. He took out the knife and said, "By the way, Guinevere is alive and she will be my queen!" before he stabbed her in her heart and she fell with a thud, dead.  
Arthur looked at the woman lying beside the throne unable to believe she had been his sister. He shook his head and limped out of the throne room. He met with Leon. "Sire I saw you coming here. Morgana?"  
"She is dead." Leon grinned patting Arthur before he led the king to Gaius. "Where is Merlin?"  
"I don't know my Lord."  
"I need to go and find him."  
"My Lord…"  
Before he could say anything he looked up the balcony and saw the old man. The man who he had thought had killed his father. He radiated of power and Arthur could not look away. He raised his staff and thunder clapped in the sky. The ground shifted and he saw all of Morgana's army falling.

Arthur decided he wanted to meet the man immediately. Maybe when this was all over he would make him court sorcerer? After all he wouldn't have come to help if he wasn't an ally of Camelot would he? Forgeting about Merlin, Arthur limped as quick as he could after he instructed Leon to help the wounded and took a shot cut to the balcony.  
He heard footsteps and followed them. He saw the old man enter a room. Arthur rushed and followed in room but found no one inside except for Merlin holding a stuff, the same stuff the old man had. "Merlin?"

**Thank you for reading. **

**I hope the battle scene was realistic. I have to admit. I am not good at writing the battles. **

**So Arthur realizes Merlin is the wizard…what is he going to do?**

**Morgana is dead. Peace at last. Yey!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Hello everyone. I am sorry for the late updates on all my pending stories. I am swamped with school not to mention bad headaches sitting on my thinking cap. I promise to update whenever I can. thank you for the reviews, fav and follows!**

**Read and enjoy!**

"Arthur, I…"

"You?" said Arthur looking at Merlin as if he didn't know him. Flashes of memories were passing in his mind. Why at one point he had thought the old sorcerer looked familiar, how when something extraordinary happened or when magical help was offered, Merlin was always nowhere to be seen, how Merlin was always so cryptic. Looking at Merlin now, everything made sense. Merlin had been the one to do everything, to save his life and that of Camelot. "It has been you all along?"

"Arthur please…" said Merlin and it snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked at the blue eyes of his most trusted servant and for once he didn't know wwhat to do. What was he to say to him? He had just saved them all with one spell. How was he to challenge him? Now he stood there fear in his blue eyes as if he Arthur could do anything to him. Well maybe he could since his sword had killed Morgana a high priestess but did Merlin think he was that heartless?

He may feel angry…yes very angry, hurt, betrayed, deceived but he wouldn't harm Merlin.

"I cannot even look at you right now let alone speak to you." said Arthur and he limped away. He knew it was unwise to leave it at this but what was he to do? What was he to say? At this moment he wished for Guinevere, his lovely Guinevere with her wise council. His heart panged with pain at the thought of her out there all alone. He wondered i he would ever find her.

He got to Gaius' quarters and found it overridden with patients. Gaius made to come to tend to him. "No Gaius. I am fine. Tend to them first." Leon came back with reports of the dead, wounded and the damage to the city. Plans began to be made on how to repair the damage.

He eventually left Gaius chambers for his own where he lay down for a rest.

Xxx

The following days passed in a blur. Arthur was busy with his royal duties. He addressed the council and the citizens of Camelot thanking them all for their help in fighting the threat. He also informed them of the death of Morgana with her body presented as proof before it was taken outside of the city to be burned. He also thanked the sorcerer his eyes briefly meeting with Merlin's though they hadn't talked yet.

He also spoke of Gwen's betrayal how it was orchestrated by Morgana. Arthur could practically feel the gratitude and relief in the people. After all, Gwen had been one of them and would have been the very first commoner queen. Most hadn't believed Gwen was capable of the betrayal and now she was exonerated.

It was a week after the death of Morgana that he called Merlin to his chambers. He was standing by his window, watching the sunset and people bustling with activity down below when Merlin knocked.

"Enter."

It was when the door closed when Arthur turned around and faced Merlin. He was dressed like the servant he had always been but something about him had changed. Arthur knew he would be talking to Merlin, the assured sorcerer.

"Merlin."

"Arthur."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" asked Arthur the question that had been in his mind for the past week.

Merlin sighed. "Many things Arthur but most of all I didn't know how you were going to take it."

"You think I would have had you killed?"

"Thought crossed my mind."

"I would never have done that and you know it."

"Do I? Arthur nomatter how much I saved you, or was there or you, I would never have had your complete trust, the trust you had in your father, in your uncle. How was I to know you wouldn't follow their lead or advice? After all, you proved their advice is more important than any of us."

Arthur gaped and made to deny.

"No Arthur you know it is true. You let Gwen go, calling her nappropriate because your uncle said so, the woman you had loved for so many years, you listed to what your father and uncle said at face value and never challenged whether they were right or wrong. tell me this Arthur, if Aggravaine had told you to kill me what would you have done?"

At that Arthur was speechless. Guilt filled him. Despite knowing Merlin and despite all he had done for him, he had taken his uncle's advice over his. He had not wanted to hear anything bad against his uncle. He had trusted his advice to the point of letting go his beloved Guinevere. How could he have been so blind? He had thought because he was his uncle he would be on his side but then wasn't Morgana his sister and yet she had wanted to kill him? He had been so blinded and stupid.

"I guess I am the one who should apologize. I was so caught up with wanting to please. Aggravaine was my uncle, my mother's brother. I thought he wanted the best for me."

"I can understand." said Merlin with a sigh. "Believe me it hasn't been easy to keep this secret from you. I wanted to tell you on more than one occasion but I chickened out. I was born like this and having to live your life looking at your shoulder, wondering if today is going to be my last, seeing people like me being killed… It was hard."

"I understand." said Arthur echoing Merlin though he knew he couldn't possibly begin to comprehend how Merlin must have felt, being born with magic but having to hide it for fear of being killed…

"Tell me everything you have done."

"Arthur…" said Merlin with a sigh.

"Please. I need to know." said Arthur practically begging (not that he would ever admit that). He needed to know everything in order to move on.

"Fine but you better sit."

It is safe to say Arthur was stunned for what Merlin had been up to since his arrival in Camelot. It opened his eyes to how blind he was. He had missed all the signs before him and it made him wonder, what else did he miss? Had he always been that short sighted that he missed what was happening right in front of him? He wondered why he never questioned Merlin when he said the dragon was taken care of. He hadn't seen the body...and that was just one of many so obvious clues Merlin had left.

"I can't believe I was so blind!" he chastised himself running his hand in his hair.

"You did not expect it that your servant who worked so close to you and your father could have magic and not to mention the way I look. No one expects a powerful sorcerer to look like me." said Merlin wisely and Arthur was stunned yet again at the depth Merlin showed.

"You are Emrys aren't you?" Arthur said looking at Merlin.

"How do you know of Emrys?"

"Morgana said his name when I stabbed her that he was her doom and not me."

"Ah, yes. I am."

"Just how powerful are you?"

"Hmm, well you saw what I did…"

"Merlin, did you know Gwen was innocent?" Arthur asked the one thing that had been worrying him.

"No. I knew Lancelot was not real, that he was a mere shade but when Gwen kissed him, I thought she had done it of her own will despite knowing it was out of character for her. at the time, I saw no proof." Merlin said and Arthur nodded happy with the answer. It made sense.

"Thank you Merlin for all you did."

"It is my destiny." said Merlin. Arthur looked puzzled before he left it at that.

"Oh and Arthur...there is something else." said Merlin. "I know where Gwen is."

**There it is. Thank you for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"You what?" said Arthur looking at Merlin wondering if he hadn't heard correctly but also wishing he had heard correctly.

"I know where Gwen is Arthur. She is in Ealdor." Said Merlin and Arthur gasped at him.

"She is with your mother? But how?" said Arthur.

Merlin looked hesitant and Arthur sent him a look that said, 'you better talk now or you will be in the dungeons for a month'.

"I um, when I said I saw her I left some details." Arthur didn't say anything but his look urged Merlin to go forth with it. His heart was beating so fast as he listened to Merlin's tale, how Gwen was turned into a deer, how Merlin saved her (so that is how he had missed for the very first time!), how Mithian's arrow had hit her, how he had returned and healed her and then took her to Ealdor.

"That was the day you were missing and said you were gathering rare herbs for Gaius." Said Arthur recalling the day. How could he not when it was the time when he broke it off with the princess? "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you bring her here?"

"How could I Arthur? You were with Mithian, Aggravaine was still your trusted uncle and you had banished her! How could I have brought her here? She was no safe here than she was out there!"

Arthur had the grace to blush embarrassed. It was true. He had banished Gwen. He had trusted his uncle above all. After all, he had let her go when his uncle had suggested she was inappropriate. If his uncle had seen her here or if he had seen her…he would have thought she had disobeyed and he did not want to think what might have happened.

Arthur sighed. "I want to see her. I want to tell her everything."

"There is going to be just one problem with that Arthur. he lost her memories. She has no idea who we are… well who you are since she knows me know but…"

"What! What do you mean she lost her memory! What happened?"

"She was attacked by Morgana I presume… (A flinch from Arthur of guilt). She was unconscious when I found her and before you ask, I tried to heal her but nothing helped. It was not magic. It is like she herself has blocked her memories."

"Probably because they hurt he so much." said Arthur quietly. Merlin didn't respond.

"I still want to see her, to bring her back here. Maybe she can remember if she is in a familiar environment."

Merlin nodded.

Te journey to Ealdor was a silent one. Arthur had left Sir Leon in charge of the knights and the kingdom for the brie period he was not going to be there and of course he had Merlin with him. Arthur was in deep thought. On one side, he was happy he was going to see her again but on another, what was he going to say to her? She didn't know him and even if she did, after what he had done to her…should he even be making this journey? Did he even deserve to be in her presence? He was still in thought when they approached Ealdor and was only brought out of his musings when he saw her.

She was hunched down cleaning the outside yard, dressed in a plain red dress her hair up in a messy bun. She was just as he remembered her only now, she was dressed so cheaply. 'she should be adorned in jewels and the best dresses as my queen' he thought. 'you sent her away and it is your fault she is like this'

She was humming to herself and seemed to be in deep thought. Arthur got down from his horse and moved slowly towards her. Merlin who was closer called out, "Gwen."

She looked up and Arthur watched his heart constricting as her beautiful eyes brightened up, a smile fill her face (she was still as beautiful as he remembered) as she said, "Merlin!" and rushed to him.

Xxx

"Merlin! You came back!" said Gwen hugging the tall slim man. He seemed nervous but he hugged her back. "I missed you."

Merlin laughed at her obvious joy. "I can see that." he said not daring to say 'I missed you too in Arthur's presence. He didn't want to end up in the stocks and with the glare he could feel from Arthur…he might not be far from that…

Gwen smiled and then she saw the man behind Merlin. He was tall, lean but very fit with blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin and was really handsome. judging from his clothing, she assumed he was some sort o noble though she wondered what a noble would be doing here in this small town and with Merlin. What stood out was the way he was looking at her, like he knew her and couldn't believe he was seeing her. could she have known him?

"Gwen, this is King Arthur of Camelot."

"Sire…" said Gwen courteously wondering what the king was doing here.

"It's Arthur." Arthur said quickly and she nodded blushing.

"Um, would you lik to enter? Your mother has gone to the river at the moment Merlin." Said Gwen trying to fill the tension that had filled.

They entered and Gwen busied herself preparing a meal for the visitors. Hunith returned minutes later and she was ecstatic to see Merlin and Arthur. they all talked casually, had some food and then Hunith left the 3 alone.

"Gwen, I am sure you are wondering why I have brought Arthur with me."

Gwen could only nod. How could she have known a prince? Surely there must be something that had happened. Maybe to her brother family that Merlin said was in Camelot…

"You remember when I told you, you had a past in Camelot." Merlin said and she nodded yet again. Finally she was going to know something.

"Well, you also knew the king very well, well ever since he was a prince."

"Me? Why? I thought I was a servant?" she said thinking back to her discussion with Hunith.

"You were but you worked for the royal family like I do. I am the prince's man servant and you were Lady Morgana's maid servant."

"Who is she?"

"Hmm, she was Arthur's sister but she um…she died."

"Oh."

"Yes. We have come to take you home, to Camelot."

"But I thought you said I couldn't return that something bad had happened."

"Yes but it has since passed. You can return to your home now." Said Arthur gently.

"Oh, I don't know."

"Please? I know you like it here but Camelot is your home. you belong there and maybe if you see some familiar things, you could remember."

Gwen was quiet for a while. She didn't know what to make of this. She wanted so much to go to Camelot and discover who she was before but what if she didn't like it? When she thought of her past, well tried to remember it, she was filled with pain, despair, anguish… did she really want to know why? And Hunith. Could she really leave her alone after she had accepted her so welcoming?

But then again the prince was here and who got a visit from the prince unless it was important?

"Will you be there Merlin, in Camelot?" she asked softly. She didn't like being insecure but for the past weeks, she couldn't place her feeling. They were high and low. She was stunned to see a brief pained looked in the prince. She had seen in his eyes a sadness when he looked at her. what was really gong on?

"Yes I will be there."

"Can I think about this?"

"Of course. Take all the time you need." said Arthur looking at her and she felt something stir in her at the intense look the blue eyes had.

She was saved from decisions when Hunith took her aside after dinner and the men had gone to the inn to sleep and gave her the blessing to return to Camelot. "You belong to Camelot my dear. It is your home."

"So I have heard so many times."

"It will make sense to you. You will see. I will be fine here and being in Camelot doesn't mean you cannot come and visit."

"Of course. Thank you Hunith for everything."

The next day, Gwen told Arthur and Merlin she was ready to go and they both graced her with a smile. When Arthur offered to ride with her, she was disconcerted at first (riding with the king!) but something about the way he looked at her made her agree though her face was probably red with embarrassment. Soon she was on her way to Camelot.

**There it is. Thank you for reading. So Gwen is going back to Camelot with Merlin and Arthur. what is going to happen?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Gwen walked into the small house and immediately she felt a sense of belonging, a sense of comfort. She had asked the king to allow her to return to her home and not to the castle like he had wanted. She wanted to return to her home and see it from there.

After what had happened when they entered Camelot, she was grateful for her decision. Everyone had started whispering and staring as soon as they saw her and only stopped when the king passed a look at them that had them blushing and turning away.

She looked around at the cupboards, the small table and there was everything in there like candles, plates, spoons, cups…like she had never left. She fingered the table, feeling something stirring in her. "I um, cleaned the place whenever I could. I knew you would return." said Merlin with a blush and Gwen smiled grateful.

"Thank you Merlin." said Gwen grateful then turned to look around missing the glare Arthur shot at Merlin. Merlin however didn't miss it and knew he was going to be in trouble. What did Arthur think really? That he was making play at Gwen? He didn't want to die thank you very much.

"Ok, um, I am going to send you some blankets and food. Whatever you need, just say." said Arthur and Gwen's breath nearly caught at the way the king was looking at her. His eyes held such intensity it scared her. Unable to respond she merely nodded.

When they left, Gwen slumped on the bed. "so this was Camelot." she had been awed when she had seen the magnificent white castle. it was so beautiful. to think she had once worked there brushing shoulders with royalty…

With the way Arthur was acting around her, it seemed the 2 of them had shared a really close bond but what was it? What could have possibly made her get that close to him, close enough that he would personally come and get her from Ealdor?

With Arthur and Merlin she could understand. After all Merlin was his servant but what about her? She had been Arthur's sister Morgana's maid and it didn't seem like Morgana was close to Arthur. What had happened between her and Arthur? She couldn't explain how she felt for him. He unnerved her and she didn't know why.

Maybe she could ask him? No. She would ask Merlin. Arthur scared her with the emotions he invoked with her. Merlin was easy and free. she would ask Merlin.

xxx

"I cleaned up when you were gone! What are you playing at Merlin!" said Arthur glaring at his sheepish looking servant.

"I merely stated the truth Arthur." said Merlin hiding his amusement. A jealous Arthur was an amusing one not that he would show it. He valued his head where it was.

"Really?" said Arthur glaring at Merlin.

"Yes really. Listen, you are high on emotions right now and you are seeing what is not there. Gwen is my best friend and I care for her. Yes I wanted and cleaned her home. I…I didn't want to think that it was final, that we would never see her again. Maybe it was my conscience questioning why I didn't stand up to her when she needed me. it was the least I could do." said Merlin sincerely and Arthur's anger fizzled out.

Merlin was right. He was high on emotions. Seeing Gwen, right there, alive and well had invoked strong feelings. Everything had rushed back when he saw her beautiful form. His love for her had coursed through him. it was like when you block a river with a wall. the rush of the water when its freed was how he felt. it had made him weak.

then seeing Gwen hugging Merlin, smiling at Merlin, asking for cues from Merlin and depending on Merlin had made him so jealous. He knew he deserved what was coming to him but he couldn't help how he was feeling. He was glad she was back in Camelot. Now, he could work on how to make this right.

"You are right. I am sorry."

"You know you are apologizing an awful lot these days. Are you sure you are ok?"

"Merlin…" said Arthur threateningly and Merlin raised his hands in defeat.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Merlin.

"I am going to tell her the truth tomorrow about what happened before she hears it from anyone else."

"Are you sure that is wise?"

"I don't like it but she deserves to know. she will know either way." said Arthur and Merlin nodded.

xxx

Gwen was in her house when there was a knock. she went and opened the door and was surprised to see Arthur standing there.

"My lord…" said Gwen

"Its Arthur." he said again and she blushed. She couldn't get used to calling him by his name. He was the king! "May I come in?"

"Of course." said Gwen letting him in. they sat at the table. "Um, would you me to prepare you something?"

"No. No. I…um, I came to talk to you."

"Oh."

"I came to tell you why you left Camelot in the first place."

Gwen was stunned. she hadn't thought Arthur would come and tell her himself.

"Oh…" said Gwen which seemed to be the only word she could utter at the moment. She cursed herself for her nerves.

"Yes. I know you will probably here about this before the day ends. I just wanted you to hear everything from me." said Arthur and he began to tell her everything from how they had loved each other, how his father was against it, how she had once loved a man named Lancelot, how they persevered in their love no matter how hard it had been. He told her about Morgana, how she turned evil, told her of his uncle who came when his father died, he told her how he had let her go once on the advice of his uncle and he told her of their engagement. He told her about the day before their wedding, how he held a tournament in her honor, how he caught her with Lancelot, how he let her go, how he missed her and wondered where she was, how he almost married a princess but couldn't after finding her ring and how he found out it was all a ploy but Morgana and he had fallen for it. He told her everything not leaving anything out.

Gwen could see the emotions in the blue eyes as he talked, at times his voice cracking as he spoke. She did not interrupt and she was stunned that all this had happened. she had been in love with prince Arthur, she had been his intended. she had been caught committing a terrible disgusting offense then she heard she was enchanted, that Morgana had planned it all.

She couldn't understand. How could Morgana have turned so evil when they had been friends? She had been her serving girl since she was young. Wouldn't she have known that her mistress was dark? and then her betrayal of Arthur. From all he had told her, she had loved him, he had loved her so then why did he believe she would have done something like that? She had loved Lancelot but that didn't mean she would kiss him right before their wedding?

She now knew where the feeling of despair and loneliness came from when she thought of her past. she had a tragic past, filled with love, hate, fear, betrayal…everything.

"Guinevere, I…I am sorry, for everything." said Arthur liking at her intently. She couldn't find any words to say. At one point she understood how seeing her with Lancelot would have seemed. After all the history she had with him, it made sense.

"I know I cant erase all the hurt I caused you but I will do all I can for you to trust me again." said Arthur gently.

"I…I don't know what to say Arthur about all this but thank you for telling me yourself." said Gwen and Arthur nodded.

"Can I be alone?"

"Of course. Merlin will come by with your brother. I have prevented people from coming until you are ready."

"Thank you." she said and with one last look he left leaving her in deep thought. she had wanted to know about her past so much but now…she wished she didn't. how could one person suffer through all that? she knew Arthur had told her the truth. the emotions behind those blue eyes were real. He was pained as much as she, he was hurting as much as she.

she had loved him and cared for him. How could she had felt so many intense feelings for him and not feel it now? she just knew his presence unsettled her, it made her uneasy. Maybe that was it. Maybe because they had loved each other and she could feel his intensity… she was so tired and she began to wonder if being in Camelot was the best for her after all.

xxx

The days passed and Gwen knew she loved it in Camelot. she had seen her brother who had apologized profusely for not being there for her and he had hugged the life out of her. when she had ventured out, she was met with kind people who didn't question her but were warm toward her.

she met Gaius, an elderly man with really white hair and blue eyes. He radiated of knowledge and wisdom. He was the court physician and Gwen liked him instantly. she had gone to see if he could help her with her memory and she found Merlin in there as well.

"_Gwen, neither Gaius nor I can do anything for you. it is up to you to unlock your memories."_

"_What do you mean?" asked Gwen looking at Merlin._

"_My child, you went through a traumatic event. You were chased from your home and what you knew. who knows what you met out there. all this resulted in you blocking the memories to protect yourself from the grief." Gwen nodded in understanding. _

"_How do I unlock them then? Arthur told me everything that happened. shouldn't I be able to remember now?"_

"_It is not as simple. just be patient and do not think about it so much. they will return to you." _

"_And if not?"_

"_You make new memories."_

"_Merlin's mother said the same thing."_

"_She is a wise woman." said Gaius with a smile and she smiled back._

She also met the knights and she particularly liked Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine. Gwaine was really funny and flirty and Sir Leon was a gentleman.

She hadn't talked to Arthur since he had told her what had happened but she could feel him watching her. she didn't know what to think of the king. he was very handsome and it was clear he loved her and wanted her to be happy. There was the way she reacted to him. It wasn't like the easiness she had with Merlin. She could laugh, talk and tease with Merlin but with Arthur she was overwhelmed.

It was not just because he was the king but because of whom he was. He confused her, made her feel such strong emotions she couldn't decipher and she didn't know what to do about it thus avoiding him. She knew she was hurting him. she remembered the talk she had with marlin.

"_I don't know what to make of it Merlin."_

"_I know. I am not asking you to kiss him… (Gwen blushed) but please…don't avoid him. It is hurting him."_

"_And he is making you pay isn't he?"_

"_Um…"_

_Gwen laughed. _

"_I cant put anything past you can i?" _

"_No you cant. Ok. I will talk to him." _

"_Thank you."_

"_Um, Merlin?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Does Arthur know about your magic?"_

"_Yes. He does." _

_Gwen looked relieved at that. "Ok. I am glad he knows. Did he take it well?"_

"_Well he did given I had just saved Camelot and well, telling him you were alive was a bonus." said Merlin with his trademark grin and Gwen laughed. _

After talking to Merlin, she stopped avoiding Arthur and well things went well. After getting tired of staying at home doing nothing (Arthur had insisted) she asked (that means begged) to Arthur to allow her to work. Now she worked as a seamstress mending knights clothes and some clothes of the locals. she loved it.

xxx

Arthur was so happy to see Gwen happy. Talking to her hearing her laugh and seeing those brown eyes sparkle with glee, it made his day. After she stopped avoiding him, they had grown closer. He could see the Gwen she had been before, his Guinevere and it was all he could do not to just take her and kiss her. He didn't know how long he was going to hold out though. she was so beautiful and amazing.

then the issue of Merlin. He didn't know how to go about it On one hand he knew Merlin could keep being his servant. He was a warlock, the most powerful who had killed many men with just one spell. But then what would that make Merlin? He needed a better position than manservant but what?

The issue of magic was still delicate. People feared it but him telling the people a sorcerer had helped them defeat Morgana had helped. As he thought, it got to him. He could change the law, permit magic in Camelot and make Merlin court sorcerer in charge of all the magicals. He would see to it that magic was used for good. that was a good idea. All he needed now was for Merlin himself to agree.

**Thank you for reading! Tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**chapter 9**

Days passed and soon 3 months had passed since she was in Camelot. A lot had happened in that space of time. One major change was Arthur passed a law permitting magic in Camelot and then announced Merlin as a sorcerer and then named him court sorcerer. there were mixed reactions of course. Magic had hurt a lot of people but they all knew this was a dawning of a new era. it helped too because everyone knew Merlin and knew he would not hurt a fly.

For Gwen seeing Merlin in those fine robes was weird and it was the same for Merlin too who found it odd that he actually had his own chambers in the castle and his own servant. That was odd.

Merlin had told him everything he had done and Arthur had met the great dragon for the first time and he had been stunned. It was so majestic and he had felt so small and insignificant in its presence. Arthur asked forgiveness from the dragon on his father's behalf on being locked up for so many years. He also thanked the dragon for the sword it had forged with it's breath. it had helped defeat Tristan's shade and mostly Morgana.

one thing that was most important to him was his Guinevere. He had promised himself he would not take advantage of Gwen when she was vulnerable but he couldn't help it when she was close by. they were getting closer and closer by the day. they had almost kissed thrice now and though she shied away and ran, he knew she felt the same for him. He would not push her though. He would wait all the while proving to her how much she meant to him.

He wondered how he had been able to let her go not once… Now he knew he would never take her for granted again. he just couldn't. He smiled as he looked down the courtyard from his room. Camelot was thriving and he was happy. He knew there would always be enemies but he knew he would be able to defeat them.

**xxx**

Gwen walked down the castle corridors and stopped at the king's chambers. she knocked gently. she had in her hands, his clothes that she had mended. He refused to take them to the royal seamstress. she knocked on the door and the door opened revealing Arthur in his white shirt and black trousers, hair tousled and slightly wet (just from having a bath) and he looked so handsome.

Gwen wondered if this was a good idea after all for her to come here. she should have send Anna that maid. she was attracted to him and ove time, she found herself thinking of him more, wanting to hug him, to kiss him and that frightened her.

she knew what had happened between them and she knew how he felt for her but she was scared. Of what she didn't know. Maybe she was scared of how intense her feelings were for him. He was so sweet, gentle and not once did he push her to be with him. He was perfect and she didn't know how long she could fight her feelings.

Her memory hadn't returned yet but she had got to know the people of Camelot, Merlin, Gaius, her brother, the knights and occasionally she wrote to Hunith telling her what was happening. she missed the older woman a lot and she often wished she had come with her to Camelot. After all her son was here in Camelot. Maybe she could ask her in her next letter.

"i…I brought you your clothes." said Gwen nervously.

"Of course. come in."

Gwen entered and she placed the clothes in his cupboard. she then turned to leave.

"Guinevere…"

Gwen stilled his word washing over her. the way he said her name like it was a curse, in that low husky voice. Her heart beat faster and she could swear Arthur could hear it. She felt him before she saw him as he came to her and he stood in front of her.

she fought the urge to look at him, knowing she would lose her nerve when she looked into those intense blue eyes. she fought raising her hands to curse those muscles showing against the thin white shirt. She had to get out of there or else something would happen.

She felt his finger under her chin urging her to look at him. Unable to resist she looked up and into the blue eyes swirling with emotion from love, desire and all other feelings that made her tingly. How could she resist with the way he was looking at her?

He looked into her eyes, held them then he looked at her lips and back in her eyes. "I really want to kiss you right now." said Arthur in a husky low voice. "I know I shouldn't but I can't help it."

'Me too Arthur.' her mind said but she stood rooted there not saying anything. He leaned down and she could feel his breath on her lips making her feel hot.

"Tell me to stop and I will." he whispered gently just shy from her lips. Gwen didn't say anything. her lips parted involuntary and If it was possible, her heart beat increased. At this rate, she was going to explode.

When she didn't stop him, he lowered his lips and their lips met soft and full. Arthur pulled back a bit looked at her and as if something pulled them, their lips and bodies met in a full union of passion. Sensations exploded within Gwen's body as she kissed him, as she melted in his arms, as she felt something familiar stir within her.

At that moment, as she kissed him, as she tasted him, familiar emotions exploded within her. she gasped as before her, flashes of her life floated within her mind, everything returned to her in a rush and she couldn't stop it. She could hear Arthur's voice from far away as he called her name, asking if she was ok. She couldn't respond and before she could try and say something everything went blank.

Xxx

Arthur was stunned as he looked at the limp form of Guinevere. One moment, he was enjoying the kiss of his life and the next she was gasping, clutching her head and then she passed out. He didn't know what had happened and he did one thing he could. He scooped her up and carried her to Gaius' chambers.

"What happened?"

"She collapsed. I don't know what happened. She was ok one moment and the next she was clutching her head and collapsing."

"Ah." said Gaius knowingly.

"What is it? Do you know something?"

"What was Gwen doing when it happened?"

Arthur blushed and mumbled "We were kissing."

"Ah. And I take it this was the first time since she returned?"

"Yes . Will you tell me what is going on?"

"Well we can only be certain when she wakes up but I believe Gwen may have got her memory back. The kiss was a trigger to her emotions and it opened up her mind to everything."

Arthur could only stare. She got her memory back…ok maybe she got her memory back but he hoped she had.

"Will she be ok?"

"She might have a headache but she will be ok." said Gaius.

Arthur looked at Gwen's sleeping form and he ran his hands on her face and hair. "I will wait here for her." said Arthur and Gaius nodded.

Xxx

Gwen groaned as she opened her eyes. She tried to get up and clutched her head as it throbbed painfully at the sudden movement.

"Hey, relax ok." said Arthur's voice from beside her. At that moment she realized she remembered everything, her life, her mother, her father, her life as a young girl, her brother, everything that had happened to her. With the memories, came the emotions, the happiness, helplessness, the betrayal, anger and love. All at once. She lay back down not knowing what to do with it.

"Gwen?"

"I remember." She said softly. "I remember everything. My parents, brother, growing up, working in the castle, Merlin, my friends, the good times with Morgana and I remember you. I remember the love I felt for you, our hidden kisses, hidden professes of love, our special moments." she said and Arthur didn't say anything. "I also remember how you let me go, how you called me inappropriate, how you send me away, banished me while knowing this was my home, knowing I had nowhere to go. How you banished me with not so much as a benefit of doubt, with no investigation, nothing despite knowing I had been there for you all the time even when I wasn't sure you loved me anymore. I remember the pain, the betrayal, the anger and the disappointment that no one not even my brother was there for me when I had been there for all of you." by the time she was done, tears were flowing in her eyes.

"Guinevere…" said Arthur and she heard his voice cracking but she shook her head.

"No Arthur. there is nothing I can say to you. To any of you. Just leave me alone."

"Guinevere please…I…"

"You have no idea how alone I was out there. What I faced. And I knew when I left that I was enchanted but you…you believed I had done this to you. you believed I could stoop as low as to kiss another man before our wedding. Hadn't I proved enough how much I loved you? Hadn't I chosen you first all the time? Didn't I ask Lancelot to bring you back alive? Didn't that mean I loved you above everyone else? It meant nothing to you. One mistake and you sent me away, threw me away."

"Guinevere…"

"Just go Arthur and don't come near me again. I have suffered enough. You and I are over." Said Gwen with a finality in her voice and she heard him leave not once looking at him. When the door closed, she broke down in tears.

**Thank you for reading. So what do you think? Gwen has her memory back and she and Arthur are over… **


End file.
